We hear all the time from men “she trapped me with this child”. Well my name is anonymous, I’m a woman and I was trapped. Yup, he got me. BOOM! It all started with what I thought was the flu and once that didn’t pass Lordt Jesuit it must be pneumonia (that I mistakenly pronounced ammonia back then, judge ya motha).
When I eventually was on my death bed and had thrown up everything but my left lung I decided to go to the doctor. Standard question of course “are you pregnant” ? Naw doctor doctor I’m not preggo. Yes my current situation shot off his sploog fest inside me but I’m on birth control and yes I forgot to take that one night buuutttt I also took the morning after pill. Two, to be exact. Probably an overdose but I wanted to be sure. The first one I took like a skittle. Threw it up in the air and caught it with my mouth…..ok I missed it the 1st time, 5 second rule! In it goes on the 2nd try. The next one I crushed up in a powder to make sure it was in my system and used it as a nice floater in my room service mimosa!
Here I am in the doctors office begging that he fix the almost bird flu virus I have contracted. Any meds will do but I’m dying a slow and quick death at the same time. After waiting for a little and laying on that annoying white bed paper (I’m sure I left a slight grease stain on it), Doctor doctor came in. I roll over slowly like a scene in Young and the Restless – a women dying and awaiting the Dr. to tell her she only has a few months and needs to start saying goodbye. Doctor doctor said well young lady its definitely a virus but it’s probably making its way out annddddd you also have a baby in there which is why you have been so sick.
I still don’t want this child… I told him that. He sold me a dream.
And cut! Young and the Restless scene is a wrap. Insert thoughts of wire hangers and wondering if my sister can fix this with one. After gasping probably 2-3 times knowing damn well I couldn’t breath and clutching my pearls, I immediately grabbed my stuff in a “well I never” tyrant and attempted to walk out but not before I felt that volcano uprising in my throat. SPLAT! I threw up all over doctor doctors room and on his shoes. This was a side effect of “ my bird flu” uncontrollable abrupt vomiting.
I still don’t want this child… I told him that.
Fast forwarding to me telling the pumpkin seeds father. He was overjoyed. He said we are keeping it. I want a family. He even hit me with the guilt trip that he lost a child and this was his “rainbow” baby. Fast forward or maybe rewind ….Little did I know his ex wife was also pregnant and this was payback or to prove he had moved on. Nonetheless I was being used as a pawn for sure somehow someway. I still was like naw this not for me. I don’t want a baby or kids. I just want a dog. Yes I agreed to keep the ranch sunflower seed but I snuck off to an abortion clinic a week or so later and was ready to hit the Hoover vacuum suction button. Oh I’m ready! Mind made up. Let’s get this thing poppin!
I still don’t want this child… I told him that. He sold me another dream.
The nurse comes in. A very calming soft spoken women that held my hand and rubbed my pin curls. She said “ms anonymous, this is your decision but I want you to know this is life you are taking. A sweet child that you will love and will love you unconditionally”. WOW! Really. Did my lent ball somehow telepathically tell his/her father and put you up to this??? She left for a few minutes to let me think it over. Here I am again putting on my clothes again in a “well I never” state. I walked out mad because it was a $75 co pay wasted and I was still preggo. As soon as I got outside I got a text from my soon to be midgets father and he expressed that he wanted to look for a house for our new family.
I still don’t want this child… I told him that. Another dream sold…
Now for a true fast forward. I was literally barefoot in the kitchen cooking. Having the worst physical pregnancy ever and then delivery. Months into years later I was a stay at home mom in a loveless mental physical emotional and controlling relationship. All the dreams and promises were replaced with nightmares, heartaches and sometimes sleeping in a closet not being able to see my child until the morning. Sometimes to make myself feel better I would go to the basement and throw out small stacks of pictures of his ex wife and child. The family he was trying to replace with a new one…..
I still don’t want this child… I told him that. Dream #276 sold
Oh I forgot… I made the mistake of telling the Smurf’s father that I went to the clinic. He likes to tell our child I tried to kill them in our arguments. I think I will start throwing other favorites of his out. Inserts my zodiac sign.
I got the kid(s). Could not imagine life without them.