The pressure to seriously date and find your “soulmate” in your 20s is so dumb. When you really think about it, it’s kind of the worst time…ever. Hear me out! In your early 20s, you’re trying to figure out who you are, whether it’s the major that lays the foundation for the rest of your life, navigating “almost” adulthood (because you still need your parents), finding a job to make ends meet as you figure it out, in addition to figuring out how to be confident in who you are. That turmoil is not the best environment to attempt being “in a relationship”. Especially when young men do all that at a slower speed than young ladies… on top of being inherently selfish.
Then in your mid-twenties, when you’re really ejected into the world – typically after college – you go through a second phase of “oh shit…who am I?” While this is happening, navigating a big girl job, paying big girl bills, likely being taken advantage of by student loans, trying to manage a social life and evolving into the person you think you want to become. This phase doesn’t provide the best play ground for a relationship either. The gag is, you don’t even realize it! Because according to society and our parents’ generation – met at 20, were married by 22, had kids at 24 (whew chile) – we MUST find our soulmate in the midst of the most complex times in our lives.
WHOS IDEA WAS THIS! Truly.
Short Testimonial: Just ended a relationship that had been off and on since college and let me tell you…it was the BEST decision I could’ve made for the both of us. He went across country for grad school and it just wasn’t working. And I think the more he really rationalized being with me for the rest of his life (because 26 is still rather young in the grand scheme of life) his throat subconsciously closed up LOL. And honestly, it should’ve! The absence of the relationship caused me to reflect on how irrational trying to plan for the rest of our lives TOGETHER at 26 was actually not beneficial for either of us. We are both still evolving and figuring out what we want out of life – especially as we approach the 30 milestone. We could honestly end up growing in ways that make us uncompatiable. It’s a ton of pressure and we both deserve to be selfish AF in our pursuits.
So in conclusion…I think dating in your 20s should be a lot less pressure and met with a ton of flexibility. We owe it to our future selves to explore and do and be and experience everything we possibly can, selfishly and openly. And if you so happen to meet your life partner in the process…don’t allow the pressures of society and all it says you should be and do to hinder you from doing whatever works for you.