You don’t realize that once you get married how ostracized you are from your friends and family. Not ostracized in the sense that he Ike Turner’d me, but in the sense that you are viewed differently. I can no longer give my single friends advice because I have the “happily ever after” and it is viewed as if I have surpassed them in some weird way, I still don’t quite understand myself. I no longer get the “hey lets hang out texts” because people automatically assume I’ll need to find a sitter and won’t make the deadline. It sort of forces you into a group of “married folk” and not all the “married folk” share the same energy or vision you do for your union. Be careful, protect your space and energy.
However, it also wasn’t until this moment that I realized that more married people cheat than individuals in “monogamous relationships”.
It’s my birthday weekend and my married girlfriend is surprising me with a visit, and I’m elated as I haven’t spent quality time with her in almost a year. I was excited to just let my hair down and vent and have some drinks with her, only to be shocked by a visitor during dinner. A male visitor. A male visitor that was her ex. Blank stare. I am not sure if I should be shocked or angry that this guy is infringing on my alone time, or if maybe I am being a little dramatic. Maybe he just hasn’t seen her in some time and figured this was a safe environment. Well why didn’t she mention this until I saw him?
All of my questions were answered when he walked in smelling good, looking amazing, and grabbed her neck and threw his tongue down her throat with a welcome home pat on the ass. In that very moment I was no longer confused about anything and many of our conversations made a lot more sense now, but I instantly was a little jealous and realized my nether-region was a bit moist. I missed being grabbed and kissed, the intimacy of my husband. However, his friend was behind him who walked in smelling just as good as him and looking twice as good. This could be trouble.
Her and I had grown close over the recent months because we were each others confidante while we were both having major issues in our marriages. She decided to take a road that I had not yet ventured down yet, however I wasn’t quick to judge. Unlike me, she was a stay at home mom and had grievances that I would never totally understand. She felt unappreciated, out of touch with adult conversations, alone (her husband traveled 80% of the time), and sexually frustrated.
Still no judgement.
My birthday weekend became her sexual rendezvous which changed the dynamic of our friendship because I was a little disappointed that only her needs were met that weekend, although it was at the expense of my birthday. I became her alibi and her ex’s friend had to tag along in order to keep her cover. Ironically, the friend and I had really good conversation outside of the awkward and forced timing, but it did make me wonder about traveling the road less traveled…infidelity. The friend and I discussed everything under the sun, including my needs not being met, physically and mentally.
The mere idea of infidelity sat on my conscious like a 10,000 pound weight. Just being in his presence made me think of award winning sexual escapades, however all I considered was my husbands feelings although we weren’t and hadn’t been on the same page for some time. While him and I sat alone as we had been for the past 48 hours he reached over and grabbed my hand. He asked if I felt the same growing sexual chemistry as he had for the past few days.
My vagina screamed HELL YES!!! But I pulled back my hand as if he had heard my vagina screaming at him. It was at the moment that I knew I needed to go home…NOW.
To be continued…