Break Up Woes

How do you know when you’re ready to date after a break up? What does that look like? What’s the barometer that says, “Yep sis you’re ready!” Or “Nope, you still need some time.” 

 I just ended a nearly 3yr relationship and in my mind, he was it! I was DONE with the dating thing because it takes A LOT of energy and effort…and can’t forget the games. It’s tiring chile.

So it’s been about 3 months and chile I’m already like, please take me back to my happy place…it’s ghetto out here. LOL I haven’t dated since college and I was all the way in the game back then (story for a different day) a top tier MVP or sorts, but now I just view all this shit different. Yes, I want to get out there and have fun, but I also don’t want to feel like a piece of ass. But I’m realizing the lines are quite blurred. 

Even as I think back to it, my ex had no intention of making me his girlfriend, but then he realized he’d be dumb not to (of course lol). But now there are just so many layers. Like guys are really out here doing the bare minimum and without question, expect the cat. In some cases that’s okay, but in my case I’m like…ugh y’all are too old for this!!!

It’s also a bit of a mind fuck for me because I feel vulnerable to any man who even slightly fills the void of what I was missing with my ex. And I don’t want to fall for some guy because he’s giving a standard amount of attention and forethought. Ugh! The things women do and ignore to maintain a relationship baffles me sometimes. But back to my point – with all this in mind, how on earth am I suppose to know if I’m ready! HOW SWAY?! 

Also understanding what dating and flirting means in 2019 which is a myriad of things depending on who you ask (gender, sex, generation, etc). Chile issalot! For instance, this guy went and liked my old ass IG pics, but then nothing happened…and did it again. I’m like… WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?! Social media has made folks so lazy when it comes to dating. Lol Like really?? Can someone please give me a roadmap because I cannot! This shit is worse than the Netflix and chill phenomena. 

Sigh, so what is a girl to do? I’m in a space that’s like whew, I don’t want another relationship for some time. But, I wouldn’t mind a little friend. But, I don’t want it to just be Netflix and chill. And, I’d love to go on some fun dates with a man who can hold a conversation, that looks good in a peacoat, who’s also taller than me. I know y’all…I’m a MESS. But what can I say. This new dating world gives me every reason to be confused and conflicted and SCARED. 

Lettuce pray. 

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