Did y’all see that Future meme that went around on Thanksgiving with head-ass text messages men send to ex-girlfriends to see if they still got it? Why do they do that? One minute you’re chilling with family and friends, maybe even cooking and all of a sudden you see a name pop up that makes you pause in disbelief. Some of us (who don’t have him blocked) may have given proper titles such as “He Don’t Deserve You”, “Don’t Answer”, or “Say No Sis” to be a friendly reminder of what he put you through. All defense mechanisms to save us from ourselves. Yet, we still open the message HOPING and praying it’s something worth our time. SMH. We know better ladies, we do. Because 5secs after opening the message, you’ve rolled your eyes and screenshot it to your bestie with the “He’s got some damn nerve” text, contemplating whether or not to reply.
They most certainly do have a lot of nerve! And the crazy part is, no matter how emotionally unintelligent your guy is, he always knows the PERFECT moment to reach out to disturb your peace or ensure you don’t have a chance to fully get over him. Why do they do this?! As if whatever got you to this point with him wasn’t enough, they’ve got to laugh in the face of your healing. I would love to be inside their brains when they prepare to send the message. I imaging the conversation going something like “ohhhhhh man, Ima get a reaction out of this one FOR SURE”….ass holes.
As women, we always balance the art of teaching a lesson and showing we don’t care too much. Like yea he apologized, but why now and does he mean it? Or, that apology isn’t even for the right shit (the correct apology always seeming obvious to us). Or my favorite – them just saying hi/checking in KNOWING that’s not what we’re doing anymore. And of course, all when they want, how they want and the way they want…because the feelings of others never once cross their mind. Like intruding on someone’s whole holiday won’t be annoying. Chile I cannot! Like damn, do we always have to teach the lesson?! Can they not talk amongst themselves and figure some of this shit out? Because in most male groups, one of them has gone through a similar situation and can at least give some best practices. No, they chose to keep it to themselves and guess at the right answer. When most times, we as women (wanting them to be great) spoon feed it to them anyway. Sigh.
It’s amazing how they can be the entire problem and solution all at the same time. I just pray they start reflecting on interactions with those they claim to love inclusive of how we might feel, in hopes to not make us feel worse. And if they can’t figure it out, just leave us be.